untamed.nl |
|
What better way to
promote your blockbusters than by hanging billboards the size of buildings
all over town! For smaller films lots of creative options are available,
see for example
Coraline, with one poster for each letter of the alphabet. In
addition to the plastering of public places, an alternative goal can be
the private wall: fans like to be reminded of their favorite movie
stars daily. Once in a rare while a design comes along that's even considered to
be art, but most of the time the only goal is to lure people into buying a
ticket. Over the course of ten years thousands of posters have caught the
eye, some beautiful, most of them forgettable. Here is a limited selection
of remarkable ones, in various categories.
These three posters are just plain silly. Annapolis is a classic example of boring heads, but these rookies look so totally uninspired in different directions, that whatever war this is, it's gonna be lost. Not a single photoshopped synchronized plane will change that. Tagline says: 'only the best survive', so the lead characters are doomed. One of them isn't even wearing his hat and the black dude bought it one size too big, it's hopeless. The second strange advertisement is for a movie called Cinderella Man, a universally usable title if there ever was one. But no, the Germans decided to change it. Someone suggested The Sauerkraut, but it was rejected in favor of something locals would be able to read. The photo stayed the same, no little black moustache was added to Russell Crowe, but the title became much more original. This is all child's play to the single most famous ridiculous poster of the decade: Nicolas Cage and his amazing armpit. It can hold an entire left arm and at the same time Nic shoots invisible glass without a gun, above some whirling pools of lava. By the way, Bangkok Dangerous is one of the best remakes of the decade, because it still is NOT a stupid action flick.
Simple but inventive and actually made by someone who knows what the film is about: In Bruges is indeed sightseeing with a violent twist, so cool and funny that you'd absolutely send this card if you were there. The bad, sad and solving guy are immediately recognized, so you can spend the rest of your time exploring that beautiful town. Melancholia in a different form is included in eighties hiphop mixtape The Wackness, with a wickedy font and a seriously weird cast. You have to tilt your head to read it, a nasty trick to get attention, but it works. And then there's one of the best posters of the decade, hands down, cursor up. Of course it's more effective when seen online: you aren't allowed to click Diane Lane here, but it sure looks like it. In all its simplicity it even manages to capture this average film's essence: being an accomplish in cybercrime & keeping your mouth shut. Untraceable is a disappointment, but its poster is being archived.
Yes, a face made out of trees is kitsch. Many designers have tried, only a few succeeded. Premonition and Decoys are both entertaining in their sort though quite forgettable, making it a little awkward to hang them on the wall. However, the light, the snow, the colors and the succesful blendings of woman and nature are a pleasure to look at. It's perfectly understandable if someone disagrees, but it helps to separate feelings for the movie from opinion on a poster. Still, you have to be a sucker for dark forests in bright light and cheesy sentiment. Bob Ross said it best when he said: 'we don't make mistakes here, we just have happy accidents'. Tell that to the child being kidnapped in Whisper, another dud with a beautiful poster, could use a little more Van Dyck brown though. Check out that shiny sun at the right top, you can just tell it's filled with joy. When murder hits the script, we can always splash a bucket of Manson red onto the canvas.
Awww... cute! If you don't like Pooh, better check your pulse. All of his friends seem to be getting their own chance to star and this reeks of commercial overkill, but when as adorable as Heffalump, there's no need to complain. The purple poster with just a couple of lines and dots is pure gold. In color theory, a "purple" is defined as any non-spectral color between violet and red. Spectral colors violet and indigo are not purples according to color theory but they are purples according to common English usage since they are between red and blue. In art, purple is the color on the color wheel between magenta and violet and its tints and shades. In human color psychology, purple is associated with royalty and nobility. Great, now let's watch the latest Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to see Violet in action, with bubblegummy AnnaSophia Robb before she got really famous! You receive a bonus candybar for the connection with Little Manhattan, it's a small step from purple to pinkies. Touching hands for the very first time in one's life, now that's unbelievably cute.
Enter soft moss, blinding light or twilight shades. Totally different films seem to be slumbering, mumbling and wandering, they all have this dreamy glow over them. Blue in Green is a complete unknown. Poster combined with plot: 'using the human face as its landscape, this dogme-esque exploration of desire takes place over the course of one night', offers a promise of spiritual painting. Taiwanese Syndromes and a Century (Sang sattawat) has enjoyed a little more exposure, even voted best film of the decade at the Toronto Film Festival, by experts. Big white looks like a new beginning here: it could be reincarnation, irrational serenity, but at the very least it's creating curiosity. On the other side of the world, where no one feels anything anymore, everyone has seen Crash. How come we're so distant, yet we all feel exactly the same about cruising lonely streets during a misty midnight, with unknown destiny. Meditate, muse and sleep, it's good.
Perhaps it's based on personal sexual orientation, but sensual posters with a whiff of giddiness are impossible to create with the male body. Or with multiple bodies. I guess it's the curves, to be presented in modest quantity. Neve Campbell was the ultimate girl next door in the nineties and she's still sweet, even when her popularity is fading and she needs to drop her dress sometimes. Mirrors are always nice and even if When Will I Be Loved sucks, somehow you still hope Neve has found her prince. If not, let's hope she doesn't start messing around like Amy. This expert on paper decided to get some in real life and is prepared to pose for a poster at the moment climax is reached. She sure looks satisfied! Privacy got fucked by exhibitionism, but at least you know exactly what to expect: Amy's Orgasm. Next stop: French kiss, the beginning of the end, according to Le Divorce. Look once, see cleavage. Look twice, see the Eiffel Tower. Look, don't touch! This juicy detail is the best thing about the film, a common phenomenon. Stick with the posters, pun intended.
See what I mean? Ray Winstone is very cool and very hot, but Sexy Beast is not an invitation to get real close to him. That shadow must be a businessman or a hitman, no doubt it will soon get even hotter than it already is. Fillling up at least half a poster with pool tiles takes balls, including just the edge of the pool makes it a little more lively. Comparable though horizontal is the dividing line in Austrian Hundstage, including yet another whale taking a sunny break. This film is one of the hottest of the decade, watch it with a fan in the room. Summer rentals and their infinite sadness provide the chilly contrast, there's lots of doggie style going on behind civilized doors. It's all peanuts compared to Taxidermia, György Pálfi's funny and grotesque view on man, with keywords like 'vomit scene', 'unshaved armpit', 'fitness instructor', 'caught masturbating' and 'margarine'. Showing just a stitched torso is restrained, forgiving even. Sorry, men are gross.
Ahhhh, hand against glass, the ultimate champion of filmposters! Add some steam for extra effect, smear around a little blood and the creepiness is complete. Don't forget to finish it off with the movie's title kind of written on the glass and make foreign versions. Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses sounds pretty cool in Italian, almost like Dario Argento had something to do with it! Incredibly successful coming-of-age romantic vampire drama Låt den rätte komma in is a little basic when translated to English, but subtle alignment with the background adds to the terrifying beauty. Asian horror has taught us over and over agian that all creepy girls have long hair, this swedie even manages to pull off some curls and still be scary. Last but not least is the poster only haters won't include in a list like this: The Dark Knight's best out of an extensive series. Really no need to explain anything here, this is an icon that will be mentioned more than enough.
'and who are you, the poster boy for sanity?' |
|
|
